Alright, twenty-somethings, fasten your seat belts this post is not about food.
I am twenty-six years old and I have been in a relationship for nearly eight months- yes, this is my first relationship. The reason behind this being my first relationship is a story for another post. In some ways I feel like being older has worked to my advantage- I’m more secure in my life than I was ten years ago and I just feel more ready to be involved with someone. I have learned, however, there are just some things you have to learn as you go, no matter how old you are. So far – for me – its been about a shift in my priorities.
My friends and family have always been very important. I haven’t been in touch with my extended family in years, so my close friends essentially fill the gap. Spending time with them is something I enjoy doing and will almost always choose hanging out with them over anything or anyone else.
When I started dating A nothing much changed in the beginning, we’d known each other for years and our families were close, so it wasn’t hard for us to fit into each others lives. When S – my roommate for those who don’t know – met A for the first time they seemed to get along well. Since S and I live together plans ment for two can often be altered to fit a third. Before A and I started dating I never understood my friends who would fall off the face of the planet after a few months with a boyfriend. I will even go so far as to say there were times I was definitely annoyed being ditched for someone a friend could see anytime they wanted, especially when I had rearranged my schedule to see them.
I was determined not be that kind of person.
When we first started dating it wasn’t difficult not seeing him for a week, so I had lots of time to hangout with friends. But over time I started to realize things were getting tough when I actually had to schedule a standing Wednesday night date with my own roommate- although, to be fair, that is in part to his schedule and our new favourite television show (not on TLC)
As our relationship progressed it got to the point where I wanted to spend all my time with A. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and the second he would drop me off or he would leave my place I couldn’t wait to see him again. At first I thought I was being a crazy obsessed girlfriend – and no, there has been no shrine constructed to him in my bedroom for those wondering – but I started to realize my feelings were totally normal.
I am starting to recognize at this stage in my life my priorities are suppose to shift, especially for the man I love. That doesn’t mean I am going to stop hanging out with my friends or cancel plans all the time but it does mean it is okay to put A first sometimes, and not feel guilty about it.
I finally understand how challenging it can be sometimes to find the balance but something you have to be willing to work at, especially if you want to keep your close friends close! And if your friends are as awesome as you think they are, they will understand, once in a while. Make time for them too, remember, they were probably there before your significant other and are important people in your life too- I figure if I use this ‘motto’ eventually I will find the perfect balance between friend and boyfriend.
Oh, and S, about next Wednesday …