online dating: the better way?

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Online dating is quickly becoming the best way to meet your “soulmate”. There are many different sites out there to find your true one or your one for right now. You can find your soulmate based on interest, income, occupation, looks, and religion, to name a few. However, is that really helping?

I have tried my hand at online dating and can say with complete honesty, I am not a fan.  The whole reason why I tried it was because my whole life was female-dominated in terms of where I worked and the classes I took. The only chance I had at meeting a guy was if a guy saw me speed by him on the highway and decided to chase me down out of love (which I would just take as a crazy stalker and turn down), or at the bar where I could only hope to find the not-so-drunk guy who wouldn’t offer my boobs a drink.  So I needed help.

I tried eHarmonyas they had great principles and seemed serious in their matching. Also you had to pay so I figured that was also a good way to weed out the guys looking for a one night stand and nothing more….they could stay at Plenty of Fish.  At first it wasn’t bad- they matched me with some decent guys, however, I found it was difficult to express my true self on there.  After I filled out their questionnaire that felt like it took forever, they had this impression of me that they would match to other people.  The only problem is they were matching me with guys I had no interest in and who only liked one characteristic about me.  We would go through the guided communication part, which was nice to use to figure out a bit more about the person before going any further. The downside to that was, I was creating this different person in my head. I may have known what he looked like, but I didn’t really. I didn’t know his personality, how he acted, how he spoke- I was creating these different types of guys in my head and then the person I would meet would be a letdown. It wasn’t just them- I am certain that I was the same way. People act very differently on the internet then in real life.

So in the end, I have come out with some dates under my belt, and no boyfriends, but also with the realization that online dating is no different from meeting a person at a bar. Everyone tries to express themselves in the way they see fit, whether exaggerating a few points on a profile or dressing up in expensive clothes and bathing in cologne to impress the opposite sex.  Either way you are still going to have to weed through the duds to find the studs, it’s just whether you prefer to do it online or off.  I prefer off, I express myself more honestly and I get a better judge of the guy sooner, so I don’t waste my time!

D

Want to share your online dating success story with D? Or maybe you have a disaster to tell. Give us a shout at thetwentiesproject@gmail.com!

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